you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just gift wrapped bread.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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