i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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