I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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