but the lizard people decide everything anyway
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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