Small penises have feelings too.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
