Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
