I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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