Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
