It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
