This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
