it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
