I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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