My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
