Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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