I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
