I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
