dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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