Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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