you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
