Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
