He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
