Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
