So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
