hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
