I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
