He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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