Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
