Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
