Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
