So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
