they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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