omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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