I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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