koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
