Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
