Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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