Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
