Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
