You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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