Do you still have your period?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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