if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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