So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
