I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
