dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
