Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
