he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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