I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
should my penis look like a turkey
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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