He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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