What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
