This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
