I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
