so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This is the high leading the old right now
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
