Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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