My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
