Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
