just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
