dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
