But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
