I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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