so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
