I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
