Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
