Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
