My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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