i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You smell like stripper and shame
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
