maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
