Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
