ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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