I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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