you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
