well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
