Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize